before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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