That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
