he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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