PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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