Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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