How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize