I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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