love makes seman taste better
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
soo... how was my night?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
