i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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