I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
