WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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