"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
