i think i have two assholes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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