Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
