It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
