I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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