hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize