She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
