billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
