Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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