in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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