i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
