Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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