Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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