All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My vagina is officially offended.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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