OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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