thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
