so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
