So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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