No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
