My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
