im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
