Yo dont text me then not text me
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
