you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
