the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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