you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
