Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize