Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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