it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
