How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
