Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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