I cockslap morals
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
