Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
should my penis look like a turkey
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
