Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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