we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
