It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
