so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He did a backflip because drugs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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