We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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