i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
