This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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