As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
