She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
a search helicopter?!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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