There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
