Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
