I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize