how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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