you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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